Harry Potter and the Darkness Within
by crazytuts
Summary: Am I really evil? This is the question that Harry Potter asks himself as he goes through his sixth year at the Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. He's been having dreams about something hidden in the Forbidden Forest, while Voldemort is up to som


Chapter 1 – Owls and O.W.L's

It was a clear night on Privet Drive, with no moon or stars shining in the humid sky, and the only activity present were the wind howling against the trees. All of the cars on the street were parked in their proper driveways, and everyone was sound asleep except for an odd teenage boy staring gloomily out the window of house Number Four. This messy black haired and green eyed boy was Harry Potter, definitely the most abnormal person living in Privet Drive, or so the people thought. But what they didn't know that he was also the most abnormal person in the wizarding world.

Harry gazed and gazed out the window, absorbing the empty sky. That was exactly how he felt. Empty. There weren't any feelings in his heart. It felt as if a big chunk of his heart had been thrown out. There were even no pains in his scar. He felt like an apathetic human being living only for the sake of breathing and eating, often pondering why he lived in this world. And the most important question of all was: Why was he Harry Potter?

Harry glanced at Hedwig, who was scratching the cage to attract his attention. She looked a brilliant silhouette of white now and light against the dark. Harry smiled slightly and put some food in her cage. His owl appeared to be the only light in his monotonous vacation at the Dursleys.

Even though this vacation had been better than the others, it was still boring as ever. He was being treated better due to the threats by the members of the Order. His meals were much larger in size and the Dursleys mostly kept out of his way which he gladly preferred, but his vacation was nearing nearly to a month, and there was only so many times a person could read _Quidditch Through the Ages_ or take a walk outside. There was one time when he was taking a stroll outside in the park and one of Dudley's fat friends decided to pick on him. Everyone laughed, but Dudley's laughs stopped abruptly as Harry reached his pocket with his hand. This had been the only upside of his vacation, when he could stop Dudley easily from making fun of him or saying anything foul to him.

Harry felt like he was in an endless time warp where he ended up doing the same thing over and over again every day. A few times he had thought of going to Mrs.Figg's house, but the image of her numerous cats made him recoil.

He was still awake because he was afraid to go to sleep, the place where he met his nightmares frequently. He saw his godfather's handsome face and body fall backwards into a fluttering black veil. His stomach churned uncomfortably at the thought. Every single day Sirius crept into his mind like an unwanted disease and he wished he could undo what he did. He would kill for a Time Turner in his hand and go back in time and never enter the Department of Mysteries...

It was his fault. His parents died because Voldemort came to Godric's Hollow to kill him, Sirius died because he came to his rescue, Sirius died because of his reckless actions, and the consequences were more than he could bear.

Just like Mad-Eye Moody had said, Harry was sending short letters about once or twice a week back to Grimmauld Place to ensure everyone that he was safe and well. Actually, about the only conversation that he and the Dursleys had was whether he had told "those people" that he was being treated fairly. Harry knew that the sight of a wizard or witch knocking on their front door would make Aunt Petunia faint.

As he was thinking this, the clear sky was interrupted by three owls approaching the window of Number Four Privet Drive. Harry heard the chirping and looked at the on comers. He recognized one of them as Pigwidgeon, Ron's owl, but the other two were unfamiliar. They landed roughly on Harry's desk and dropped three letters on his bed. One of them (Harry suspected it was a Hogwarts owl) flew away. _O.W.L Results._

He anxiously opened the Hogwarts the letter with the Hogwarts crest on it first:

_Transfiguration: Exceeds Expectations_

_Potions: Exceeds Expectations_

_Defense against the Dark Arts: Outstanding_

_Charms: Exceeds Expectations_

_Care of Magical Creatures: Outstanding_

_History of Magic: Poor_

_Herbology: Acceptable_

_Astronomy: Poor _

_Divination: Dreadful_

Harry glanced at his results a few times. He didn't know whether to be relieved or disappointed at his Potions results. On one side, he wouldn't have to deal with Snape anymore, but on the other side, he couldn't become an Auror, which had been the only career he had considered since fourth year.

But then a grave thought entered his head_. I might not live long enough to pursue a career. _

_Don't think about that_, he told himself, but he couldn't help it. He didn't want to think about the prophecy, or the fact that the fate of the world was in his hands, or that he had to be either a killer or the victim, but he had to. Harry knew he would have to face Voldmeort again just like he had the past four times, but how? How was he going to defeat the greatest wizard of all time? It was impossible and unthinkable. What was he going to do, utter a killing spell at him? He laughed mirthlessly at the ridiculous thought. Coming back out of his reverie, he reached out for the second letter placed on his bed and opened it. It was from Hermione, who was currently at home because her parents never go to see her anymore. Harry thought that was a good idea, since the last two years Hermione had spent the summers and holidays with them. He read:

_Dear Harry,_

_How are you, Harry? I know I wrote you a letter about a week ago, but I just want to check if you're alright and I do hope you aunt and uncle are treating you well._

_My parents and I are leaving on vacation to Mexico tomorrow and we'll probably be there for a week or so. I suspect we'll be seeing a lot of ruins of the Aztecs and Mayans. I'm really excited! I'll send you a postcard and a souvenir. I hope we will see each other soon, since I don't think I'll be able to make it to Grimmauld Place this summer._

_Be careful and don't walk around outside alone at night!_

_Love from, _

_Hermione_

Harry smirked. He had been walking outside alone at night loads of times, and he wasn't about to stop. He put down Hermione's letter and grabbed Ron's:

_Harry,_

_I'm writing to let you know that either Lupin or Mum will be coming to your house tomorrow to pick you up, so I reckon you should warn the Muggles. On, and they're Apparating so don't worry about their living room being exploded to pieces again. Can't wait to see you!_

_Sincerely,_

_Ron_

_Finally_. He could get out of here. That was the positive side. The negative side was that he would have to step his foot inside Grimmauld Place, where Sirius's essence lingered behind throughout the whole house. Harry wished he could go to the Burrow instead, but he knew that wasn't happening any time soon. _Oh well, we'll see what happens._

He replied to both Ron and Hermione's letters and watched the two owls flutter away before he took off his glasses, crept up on his bed and closed his eyes.

"WAKE UP!" A hoarse voice shrieked in his left ear. Someone prodded him roughly on his arm, almost causing Harry to topple over the side of the bed.

Harry opened his eyes and saw the blurry bony face of Aunt Petunia glaring at him astoundingly.

"What?" said Harry groggily, putting on his glasses. It was early morning with the scorching sun high in the sky and it radiated light onto Harry's face. He turned his head.

"Someone's here for you." Said Aunt Petunia; she looked thoroughly flustered.

Now fully awake, Harry jumped up and passed his aunt out the door and heard distinct voices coming from the living room. He marched down the stairs and saw an unhealthy Lupin standing near the front door in mismatching Muggle clothes. He was wearing a purple dress shirt and bright green pants, and was talking to a plump-faced Uncle Vernon. Lupin broke off when he spotted Harry.

"Ah, Harry," he said, smiling, "did you get Ron's owl telling you that I was coming?"

"Yeah, I did. Just last night." said Harry, observing the room. He was surprised to see only one person was in the house to come and get him, whereas last year there had been a huge group of people.

"Maybe you should pack up your things while I explain to your Uncle where you'll be going." said Lupin, beckoning towards Uncle Vernon, who averted his eyes.

Harry nodded and turned around to go back up the stairs to hi room. Aunt Petunia was standing near the top step, watching what was happening down below nervously.

Harry rummaged through the room and collected all his books and clothes and stuffed them in his trunk. Last, he took his Firebolt and placed it gently on the top. He was so glad that he had his Firebolt now, away from Umbridge. From what he had heard from Ron, Umbridge was put in St.Mungo's permanently. _Probably right next to Lockhart_, he thought.

Five minutes later, he was downstairs with his trunk and Hedwig's case and ready to go. He looked at Uncle Vernon. He was red in the face that gave him the impression of a huge tomato. _At least Lupin's wearing Muggle clothes._

"Let's go then," said Lupin to Harry, opening the front door, "I'm sorry you didn't know I was coming ahead of time. I expect you'll be told if you need to pick Harry up at the end of term."

Harry raised his head. He wasn't coming back here?

"Alright." growled Uncle Vernon, folding his arms and slightly delighted to hear this last bit of news.

"Well, by then." Harry articulated to his aunt and uncle. He suspected Dudley was still asleep, and he wanted to keep it that way.

"Bye." They both muttered quietly, and Harry faced the door and exited with Lupin. He had a bunch of questions to ask Lupin.

"How come there aren't more people like last time?"

"Because this time we're using a Portkey, not flying on broomsticks," replied Lupin, and waved his wand and mumbled, "_Accio kettle!"_ And an old brass tea kettle flew in his hand.

"Now, I'll have to put an Invincibility Charm on you so Muggles don't see us using the Portkey."

"Wait. You can do that?" said Harry surprisingly.

"Yes, but you don't need to because of your cloak, now do you?" said Lupin, grinning. He looked distractedly to his left and right, "I should've come at night, but I've got some business to take care of...pray no one sees us..."

"And why won't the Dursleys have to pick me up from the station?" asked Harry curiously, "am I not going to live here anymore?"

"That isn't decided yet, said Lupin, "but it's best if we don't talk about that now. Come on." He followed Lupin around the house and they stopped on the left side near a window. There was a tall man with red hair walking his dog down the street and he looked at them for a second before he went on.

"Hold on to your things, Harry." said Lupin, putting down the kettle, and Harry lowered his gaze to check if he had everything, and he did. Lupin waved his wand and uttered, "

Harry took a look at himself, but there wasn't anything to look at. All he could see was the sharp as blade green grass. In the next few seconds, Lupin made himself invisible as well.

"Okay. Ready, Harry?" He said yes.

"Three...two...one..." Harry grabbed the Portkey and took a last look at his summer home as it swirled out of view. He was going back.


End file.
